gained five kilos during the summer... time to get back on track, ugh. i feel disgusting.

The current leader of my old scouting group just called me, a year after i quit scouting. My first reaction: what did I fuck up this time ( Read more... )

My arthritis is flaring up. This sucks for a billion reasons -- I can barely (and I mean barely) walk because my right ankle is so swollen and painful, and I'll likely have to start Remicade because of this (and I really don't want to.) There's also something going on with my back but because it's mostly just the muscles tensing/cramping randomly, ( Read more... )

I'm just feeling really bad right now. On top of it being Valentine's Day (or the day of friendship, as Finland celebrates it), everything else seems to be going wrong too. February 14th always makes me sad because while I don't mind being single on the day of lovers, being friendless and alone on the day of frienship fucking hurts. I had to do ( Read more... )

I feel like utter and absolute shit, a total failure, like I can't ever do anything right etc etc etc

shingles it be. pain going down, itchyness going up. at least I have a valid reason to lock myself inside for the following few weeks, yay.

google says I've got shingles

yesterday it said it was cancer

right now I really don't give two shits about WHAT it is as long as I can get this damn pain to stop

jfc it hurtsSo I've been having horrible back/chest/side pains for a little over a week now. I visited a doctor on Wednesday (yesterday), she said it was just a matter of me being a ( Read more... )

There really is no point to being a far-away-scout. My local group is a weekend trip away, which is okay and doable every now and then, but I am never included in anything. There is no activity for scouts older than fourteen or fifteen, and I can have my own group of younger kids either because of the distance. Basically this means that I sign a ( Read more... )

It's half past six on a Friday and I just want the day (or, preferably, entire weekend) to be over already because I have absolutely nothing to do. I've done my homework, I have studied more than I'd scheduled myself to study, I went grocery shopping, I went for a walk, I cleaned a little. I just got up from a sleepless nap (I feel tired, but not ( Read more... )

I feel sad almost constantly. The sadness itself isn't too bad, just a notch below normal, but the persistence of it is. There's this tiny little nagging feeling inside of me, eating at me, and it's really starting to take its toll. I started cutting again but even that isn't helping much anymore. Before, if I cut myself, I'd feel pretty okay for a ( Read more... )